I Was Afraid

So let's just dive in. One of the things that I am afraid of, when I go on my medication, is that I am going to "lose myself". It's part of how my brain tries to trick me into thinking I don't need the medication. In the back of mind I KNOW it won't turn …

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If It Makes You Happy

Here we are. One month in. I had my check in today with my doctor. We had a good sit down, and even though the tides are slowly turning, there are still some issues. One being: my anxiety is being a jerkwad. I go back again in six weeks. We may have to supplement my …

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On My Way

Here we are: Week three on my meds, and now on vacation until after Canada Day Weekend. No more dizziness (YAY!), just some fatigue that will hopefully work itself out over the next little while. I am starting to become more present. There is less disassociation. I can see NOW that I really should have …

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My Brain, The Jerk

So, here we are. I am 5 days into my dosage upgrade. It's been dizzy and sleepy. I can say now that those side effects are slowly retreating, and I am finding it a little easier to get out of bed in the morning. I am still chewing the sides of my fingernails, although not …

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Upgrading My Toolbox (Because Suffering is NOT an Option For Me)

Today I was able to see my doctor. I am very lucky, because I called this morning and got in this afternoon. I know I've been off kilter for quite some time now (months really) and I've been at the edge of the rabbit hole for about the same amount of time. I had been …

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It’s Not Always A Choice

I wake up every day and check in with whatever emotion is at the top of the list. I acknowledge it. If I can, I ride it out. I am more willing nowadays to face what I am feeling and accept it. This doesn't work for everyone, and I acknowledge that. I believe that accepting …

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Musings From a Mentally Ill Mother

So. It is one week past TeenThing's diagnosis. Into week 2 on her meds. So far nothing scary in the land of side effects. We are keeping our fingers crossed that it stays this way. I have been taking time to shuffle through the boxes I have compartmentalized, because let's face it, if I don't, …

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