I Was Afraid

So let's just dive in. One of the things that I am afraid of, when I go on my medication, is that I am going to "lose myself". It's part of how my brain tries to trick me into thinking I don't need the medication. In the back of mind I KNOW it won't turn …

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My Brain, The Jerk

So, here we are. I am 5 days into my dosage upgrade. It's been dizzy and sleepy. I can say now that those side effects are slowly retreating, and I am finding it a little easier to get out of bed in the morning. I am still chewing the sides of my fingernails, although not …

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Mentally Ill Mother: Mentally Ill Daughter (Or: Stop Telling Me Your Tools Are Better Than Mine)

You would think that with all of the talk around mental health and the options for treatment, that people would be a little more understanding when it comes to folks choosing the best option for them. From what I have been reading lately, this is not the case. So, once again, I am telling the …

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Not Racing…On Purpose

As most of you know, I am taking this year off from racing. It wasn't an easy decision and I went back and forth with it, until my body finally had enough, and yelled STOP! I am staying away from everything race related this year (well, I'm going to try) because I just need to. …

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Am I Doing This Wrong?

It's funny how quickly self reflection turns into some extreme self criticism. Struggling to take expectations off of oneself is not easy. There is an internal daily struggle: Why can't I figure this out? Why am I so stuck? I'll never figure this out. I'm not capable of *insert thing here*. I'm not smart enough. …

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What I am Learning

I started my yoga journey to slowly get my body back to some fluid movement after beating it up for many years with my running. I have been learning a lot, about my body and about myself. I am becoming more present (although on my not so good days this can still be a struggle) …

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It’s Not Always A Choice

I wake up every day and check in with whatever emotion is at the top of the list. I acknowledge it. If I can, I ride it out. I am more willing nowadays to face what I am feeling and accept it. This doesn't work for everyone, and I acknowledge that. I believe that accepting …

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