So here we are.
My mental illness and I have our official 6th year anniversary together.
I choose to remember my descent down the rabbit hole for many reasons. One being: I have learned so much. Knowing (finally) what/why/how my brain works has been monumental in so many ways.
I know when I shut down, and why (even though I may not be able to control when this happens).
I know my limits.
I know when to say no.
I value my life more now than I did 6 years ago.
It took me a while to feel “comfortable” saying “I have Depression/Anxiety”. You need to be in that space to put it out there. I have no problem sharing my experiences. Some people are not okay with sharing their experience, and that is their choice. I respect everyone’s choice, because everyone experiences this illness differently. I also know that listening to others with mental illness is more important than saying “Well you should…..”. Because that does not help. At all. Shut down.
Every person experiences this illness differently. Copes with it differently. Thinks (or overthinks) about it differently.
The thing is, those of us that suffer, we are all in it together and knowing that we can share our feelings, even if it just with each other is in itself a great comfort.
This year, my “anniversary” will be different than in years past.
My daughter (TeenThing) graduates this month. Another shift in my time/space continuum. Our dynamic will change again. I have been mulling this over in my head, probably more than I should, and even though I am celebrating this, at the same time it’s extremely bittersweet. I remember her first day of school vividly.
I have hopefully raised her right, lol 😉 She’s strong and stubborn like her Mama, so I think she’ll be okay. She will be taking a year off to work before she solidifies her plans for the future.
I am very glad I started planning the Grad Trip to Scotland with her in Grade 11. It is giving us something to look forward to after all the chaos of this year 🙂
So, “Happy Anniversary” to Me!
I look forward to learning more about myself as things change over the next year or so.
One thing that won’t change: Running 😉