Don’t Tell Me What To Do…

I should have shirt with this on it.

For now, my shirt says Hello Kitty…

You could say I am stubborn, and I would not argue.

But tell me how I should be doing “this or that” or even hint at what you think I should be doing or force it on me…I will shut down.

Not to say that I am insubordinate.  Far from it.

I have a varied background.  I come from a military family.  Being told what to do when necessary, I have no problem with.

My former PT will also tell you I have no problem following a plan.  She is also my Best Running Bud (patiently waiting for me to get the green light).

Okay, so what grinds your gears, you ask?

Telling me who I should be.

Telling me how to act.

Telling me where I can and cannot go.

Telling me what to eat (you may as well just turn around and go away).

Telling me how to train (unless you are my trainer/coach).

Why are you so bent out of shape?

 

Not bent out of shape, per se.

I was having a conversation with a friend last week and we both said how we both did the “shut down” thing when people push/force us to do something.  It hit home with me and I just had to write about it.

The past year has been hard for me.  Depression/Anxiety comes with it’s own form of shutting down.  Hurting myself and not being able to run, well it put me in a downward spiral.  

(I apologize to my family for any time I was snappy or rude.  I meant nothing by it!!)

Well, what DID you do since you couldn’t run?

I did do some hot yoga for a while.  Which I LOVE, but it is a high cost item.  Being a single mom means there are times that I need to sacrifice certain things for the greater good.

But as a runner (and I am a runner), my injury really hit me hard. Especially when found out that is wasn’t a torn meniscus, but a large fractured piece of femur in my joint…blech.

I went down the rabbit hole, and it has been a hard road back up.

Coming off the meds?

For me, at this point in time, best decision I have made.

I am feeling more myself.  More focused.  More determined.

Maybe, even more stubborn, lol.

I am a sponge right now, soaking up everything I possibly can to come back running better, faster, stronger.

One for my training and one for the BAMR in me 🙂

The moral of this spastic tale?

When you realize what your faults/weaknesses and irritations are, focus your energy on the good things.  Where can you make changes (and they don’t have to be HUGE, even the smallest change can make a big difference)?  Where can you improve?  What gets you back on track, AND happy?

Not saying this comes easy.  But if you can climb out enough to see the light, pull yourself up just a little bit more each time.  Eventually you’ll be back above ground 😉

#crazymamaruns

 

   

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