My Brain, The Jerk

So, here we are. I am 5 days into my dosage upgrade. It's been dizzy and sleepy. I can say now that those side effects are slowly retreating, and I am finding it a little easier to get out of bed in the morning. I am still chewing the sides of my fingernails, although not …

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Upgrading My Toolbox (Because Suffering is NOT an Option For Me)

Today I was able to see my doctor. I am very lucky, because I called this morning and got in this afternoon. I know I've been off kilter for quite some time now (months really) and I've been at the edge of the rabbit hole for about the same amount of time. I had been …

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Mentally Ill Mother: Mentally Ill Daughter (Or: Stop Telling Me Your Tools Are Better Than Mine)

You would think that with all of the talk around mental health and the options for treatment, that people would be a little more understanding when it comes to folks choosing the best option for them. From what I have been reading lately, this is not the case. So, once again, I am telling the …

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Amy’s Anxiety and The Tub

(Oh how I wish this post was about ice cream.....) May 9, 2018: So, Here I am awake at 11:27pm. You’re like...uhhhhh, and? Well, I am usually in extreme super sleep right now, because sleep and I are tight.  We have a very good relationship.  Amy + Sleep = BFFs. But NOT TONIGHT. (Backstory:  We …

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Not Racing…On Purpose

As most of you know, I am taking this year off from racing. It wasn't an easy decision and I went back and forth with it, until my body finally had enough, and yelled STOP! I am staying away from everything race related this year (well, I'm going to try) because I just need to. …

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Am I Doing This Wrong?

It's funny how quickly self reflection turns into some extreme self criticism. Struggling to take expectations off of oneself is not easy. There is an internal daily struggle: Why can't I figure this out? Why am I so stuck? I'll never figure this out. I'm not capable of *insert thing here*. I'm not smart enough. …

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Facing Myself…Head On

There has been a lot going lately. I can't share all of it, but I will share this: I drove out to the ocean on Saturday to think. I do some of my best thinking by the water. It was cold, but beautiful. The waves. The spotty sunshine. I was taking time to SEE what …

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